When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize