Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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