Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
