they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i out mim tonsoeep
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