Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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