She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Alive.
So much puke
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
