Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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