fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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