He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
