I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
