I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Never let your siblings swipe right.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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