She is in my trunk
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
