On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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