it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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