those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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