i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
