whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
