Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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