He kissed a someone with a penis
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
