1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
