Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
