So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
