So drunk its hurt
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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