dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Less talking, more tequila
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
