is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize