the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
