Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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