There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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