These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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