Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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