does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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