I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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