Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
