Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
