Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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