Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
