no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
