STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
