i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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