You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
