I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize