I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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