just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have fence marks all over my body
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
