just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
