I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
