Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I see more hoeing in ur future
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