the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
