I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
