I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
pray to the hookup gods
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize