Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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