Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i was born a porn star she said
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
