he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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