And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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