can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
