Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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