Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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