Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
